We Were Scoobies
by Mercy P. Jones
Summary: Coming across a supposed abandoned Alliance cruiser, Mal and his crew inspect the happenings, much to Simon's chagrin. They come across a pair Earth-that-was artifacts on the cruiser... only to have them wake up... Firefly/Btvs Xander-Centered in the begi
1. While You Were Sleeping

AN: This is a response to fibonacci's challenge, "We Were." from

Important note: For this plot to fully work, the episode "You're Welcome" never happened in Angel. At least not the scripted way. It'll be explained later...

* * *

"That an Alliance ship?"

A frown tugged at Captain Mal's lips as he stared at the large boat. The normally brightly lit Alliance cruiser was dull and floating aimlessly in the black.

"Looks like that way, sir." Was Zoë's usual terse response. It didn't hide the skeptical tone in her voice though.

"Anyone home?" Mal never took his eyes of the large boat.

"You want me to hail her?" Wash turned surprised eyes to his Captain, "But, Mal, what about the f-u-j... g?..." Deciding to thwart his attempt on spelling on 'fugitives' he changed his words, "What about the Tams?"

"I say screw 'em."

Mal turned a pair of warning eyes to Jayne, who, knowing what the look hinted towards, thrust an exasperated hand towards the cruiser, "I was talkin' 'bout the Alliance. We don't need no trouble from 'em."

"That be the truth," Mall turned back to stare out the window. Thoughts flew through his head and he weighed his options. True, it was risky to hail them especially concerning the two fugitives aboard his boat. Not to mention that this being an Alliance cruiser, everything was bound to have an Alliance imprint on it and therefor be not worth the selling. The only reason to hail or board would be to make sure everyone was alive, "No. Let's keep sailin'." He straightened and explained, "Jayne and Wash are right. We don't need Alliance trouble right now, 'specially with two fugitives on board."

"They were eaten."

The four occupants turned to find River standing behind the doorway, peering around the threshold. She stared at the ship with wide eyes, "The mouth opened up and gulped them down." She turned her eyes to the Captain, "They're sleeping now."

"Anyone else find that mighty confusin'?" Mal looked around and watched as Wash rose his hand, followed soon by Zoë and Jayne.

Much to everyone's inner amusement, River rolled her eyes and glided in. It was strange how she always seemed to float everywhere. But everything about the girl was strange. She walked up next to Mal, staring at the ship the whole time, "Down, down, down." She whispered, then rolled her head towards Mal, and still in a whisper she continued, "They all fell down. Won't get back up."

"You meanin' the Alliance ship's empty?" Mal questioned, staring at the girl.

"Not empty." She said, "Sleeping." She turned and stared back at the ship, "We should board."

"What? Mal!" Jayne jumped up from the second pilot's seat and turned to Mal with horrified eyes, "We ain't gonna go jumpin at the crazy's beck n' call, are we? It's an Alliance ship! Damn crazy girl's gonna get herself captured and we'll have to pay the consequences for aidin' fugitives!"

"Jayne's right." Zoë agreed and turned her attention back to her long time comrade, "Sir, if there are any Alliance members still on the vessel we'll be arrested. Not to mention that this is an Alliance ship. Someone's bound to come lookin' for it soon. This place will be swarming with Alliance in at least a matter of hours. I say we leave."

"No!" River all but shouted. The four watched, unknowing what to do, as the girl's face crumpled into tears, "They know! They've seen it! Have to remind them what they are. They'll understand, won't comprehend." She collapsed to the floor and sobbed into her arms, "Have to board. Have to help." She turned a tear streaked face up the Captain, who stared back at her uncomfortably, "Have to board." That part almost sounded like a command to him.

If there was one thing that got under Malcolm Reynolds skin, it was a crying girl. The situation always left him confounded and all sorts of uncomfortable. "Aiya." He cursed and sent Wash a sharp glare, "Link us up. We're goin' on board."

"Cap'n!" Jayne took a step forward, but was cut off my Mal's raised hand.

"Bizui!" He ordered. Mal crossed his arms and turned back to the ship, watching as Wash brought them closer and closer to it, "What's concernin' me is that they ain't put out a distress beacon. Buys us a coupla more hours til Alliance comes a lookin'."

A few hours later everyone was gathered down in the cargo hold, Mal and Zoe preparing to head into the airlock and change into their spacesuits.

"What's going on?" Simon, just now entering the cargo hold, looked around crew.

"Stumbled on a deserted Alliance cruiser." Mal's reply was short and quick, knowing full well how Simon was going to take it.

"What?" A look of panic flashed across his face, "No. Captain!"

"Don't think anyone's home," Was the response, but Mal level a look to the Doctor, "But just t'be safe, take that sister o'yers and prepare one o'the shuttles." He glanced back at the airlock, "River seems to think we have to go."

"River?" Simon turned to his sister, who was crying in Kaylee's arms.

Kaylee looked up at Simon and gave him a helpless look, "She's been cryin' since she came down. Nuthin I do seems to cheer her up. Can't figure out what's wrong."

"Mei-mei..." Simon walked towards his sister, but instead of letting him comfort her she pushed herself out of his reach and Kaylee's arms.

"They're afraid of the dark. Don't like it, but th-they live in it." She stammered out her nonsensical sentence. A stream of Chinese curse words followed and she let out a laugh, "It impractical, but viable. Don't fit the matrix, but can fix it." Her eyes turned to Mal and her red eyes turned serious, "Don't preach."

"Ain't plannin' to." Mal murmured as he and Zoë shared a glance, "Doc." The order left unsaid as Simon nodded and he and Kaylee both took River up the catwalk, "Wash, I want you to stay at the bridge and tell if anyone, Alliance or otherwise, comes near." Wash nodded and headed up the catwalk as well, "Jayne," Mal fixed the merc with a stern stare, "Behave yerself now."

Jayne just grunted, but made no move to respond as Mal and Zoë headed into the airlock.

After they dressed in their spacesuits, Mal gave Wash the order to let them on board. The second they entered, Mal and Zoë both knew that the emergency power was up. The corridor was dark, but the dashboard lights were on, as well as faint lights marking the edges of the corridor. They both frowned as they found no one on board. They walked through areas that should have been covered with security but found no one. They wandered for a few minutes until they came across a control panel. Walking up to it, Mal began pushing buttons before turning and nodding to Zoë.

Without a word, Mal pulled his helmet off, followed quickly by Zoë.

"This is unsettlin', sir."

"Agreed."

* * *

"I can't believe the Captain would do this." Simon murmured as he watched his sister sleeping quietly on what had once been Inara's bed.

"I'm sure he has his reasons." Kaylee supplied, the hopefulness in her voice catching Simon's attention, "He ain't gonna turn you in or nothin'." She stated as a fact, "He just wants to know what's goin' on."

"Still..." Simon shook his head, "It's an Alliance cruiser. If something did happen then another one's gonna be here soon."

"I'm sure the Cap'n's already thought of that." Kaylee really was tryin' to help, but by the look on Simon's face, she knew she wasn't doing too good of a job, "They'll be in and out and 'fore ya know it, we'll be days away."

Simon kept his gaze on Kaylee's face. For all his complaining, there really were many a great things to being on this ship, and Kaylee was the brightest one. He gave her a small smile, knowing that it would give Kaylee a great amount of pride to know she had gotten him to give even a small smile, "I just hope they hurry."

Kaylee smiled at him, "They will." She only glanced at River before having to do a double take, "Uh-oh..."

"Wha-" Simon cut himself off as he stared at the bed where is sister had been sleeping only seconds before, "River?!" Simon bolted off the floor and out of the shuttle, Kaylee on his heels, and onto the catwalk. They both watched as River sat in the middle of cargo bay floor. "River!"

* * *

Mal, now completely out of suit, turned to Zoë with a frown. They were both wandering around the ship, finding nothing to indicate what had happened.

"Captain." Zoë called his attention, and he left the computer he had been playing with. She shined the light on her gun onto three large containers, "Read this."

Striding across the room, Mal kept his eyes on the large containers, a heavy sense of unease flowing through him. He knelt beside one of the containers and read it, "Earth-that-was Artifacts." Chinese flew from his lips in surprise and he shook his head, "Says here no one knows what's in it."

Zoë nodded, "Heard Earth-that-was liked to have special locks on some of their old things. Scientists are still trying to figure out how to open 'em."

Mal turned his eyes up to Zoë, an unasked question hidden behind his words, "No one knows what's in 'em."

A glint in Zoë's eyes showed she agreed, "Would give us more than enough money to get that coil Kaylee's been askin' about."

"Huh." Mal looked at the three containers and began to search them, "Ain't even marked by Alliance."

"Probably couldn't get a mark to stick. Earth-that-was had some strange things, I heard."

"Hmm." He nodded, "Alright, we take these and leave." He grabbed his com, "Wash, send Jayne in here, we found ourselves somethin' to fence off."

A few minutes later, Simon, Kaylee, and River watched as the three containers were pulled on board. Mall looked over his shoulder at the three and frowned in disapproval.

"Didn't I tell you two to stay up in the shuttle?"

"Mother didn't want us to." River responded.

"Huh?" Mal shook his head, "Nevermind, I ain't carin'." He turned to Zoë and Jayne, "Got everything?"

"Yup!" Jayne replied, happy that they had found the only things on the boat not marked with Alliance.

Zoë strolled over to the intercom and pressed a button, "Ready, dear. Take us out."

"Shi." Everyone could feel Serenity as Wash pulled her away from the Alliance cruiser and sped off.

"What are they?" Simon frowned as he wandered near the cargo.

"Artifacts," Zoë walked up, "From Earth-that-was."

"They sing." River grinned from her spot on the ground. She hadn't moved since she planted herself there. She stared at one container inparticular, "But they don't remember." She pulled her eyes from the containers and looked at her big brother, "When they breathe it'll fill their lungs and pop."

Simon blinked, unsure of how to respond, and instead opted to turn his attention back to the containers. He frowned when he noticed something, "This one's different." He walked over towards it and placed his hand on the top.

"How's that?" Mal, suddenly worried that it'll cause them trouble, made his way to the Doctor.

"The other two have temperature control, probably because whatever's in there is perishable. This one doesn't." He frowned as he ran his hand on the surface.

_Sssssssss...SSSssssssssSsssszzzZzzzz..._

The strange hiss caused everyone to turn and stare at one of the other two containers. River stood up and backed away, as if she too were taken by surprise. A side panel lifted into the air, followed by clouds of cold smoke, and everyone watched as a body rolled out.

"Da-shiang bao-tza shr duh lah doo-tze!" Mal cursed.

* * *

Aiya - Damn

Bizui - Shut up

Shi - Affirmative

Da-shiang bao-tza shr duh lah doo-tze - The explosive diarrhea of an elephant (From Mrs. Reynolds when Jayne wants to trade lol!)


	2. Listen Now

There's an explanation I wanted to use in here. I don't know if I did it correctly and would appreciate any tips people could give me. I tried to make up my own virus thingy, but I'm not sure how well it worked. If any of you have a better disease/virus to use in it, that'd be great and please let me know. Rewriting this chapter for that really wouldn't be too hard or change much of the story line (I am by far not an expert on science/medicine and the like). Also, I highly doubt Simon would have the equipment on Serenity to do what I had him do concerning info on Xander, but let's just say he does. Advanced technology and all. I really just needed to mention something in that little moment that will become part of a bigger plot.

Here are some references I made in the story. I don't want people to get confused.

Dr. Fries is Mr. Freeze, a villian in Batman

Solaris: a very bad movie where people start hallucinating (at least that's my take on it)

Woody Allen: I love his quotes about death. "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it by not dying."

* * *

He'd never been a big believer in luck. But at the moment, he really _really_ had to give Lady Luck her well deserved credit. He didn't think there was any other lady in the universe that could screw with him as much as she did. Well, come to think of it there probably were quite a few, but that wasn't the point.

He was way too cold.

Xander took in a hiss of air, his lungs aching as he did so.

He felt so... so...

Eh, let's just backtrack these thoughts and say his luck sucked, it was easier.

He probably got hurt again and this was one of Will's wacky ways of healing him. She really did need to find new ways to heal them. He wasn't trying to inspect the teeth of any gifthorse or anything, really, but they were always so damn uncomfortable. Though, he did have to say, the freezing cold was a big step up from the tiny, innocent-looking, scary leeches, mixed with the smelly troll hair, and the oh-so-wonderful full second burn of salt in an open wound.

A cry left Xander's lips as his ears let out a painful pop. Luckily, that only took a second and he could now hear the noises around him. Well, he could hear the obscure-y sounds around him anyway. But hey, at least he could hear, that was never bad news – baring the time where he actually _overheard_ Giles getting lucky... there was no way that could have been healthy for his ears... or sanity.

Xander had already lost an eye, he didn't need to lose his hearing too.

_...waking up..._

Xander couldn't help the jerk that came with the pinch to his inner arm. The voice sounded too deep to be Will's, maybe it was one of the new male mystics she had been training. That didn't seem right though.

_...how much longer..._

Now that voice... he couldn't place it but it sent chills down his spine. Literally. And whoever Will had watching him seemed to notice.

_...rate increase... _

_...why the..._

There was a small pause between the voices, and Xander took it to mean they had left. He managed to let out a small breath as the silence lulled him back into complete unconsciousness..ness...ssyy...

* * *

"So, why 'xactly did the boy's heart rate go up?"

Simon held up his hand to silence the captain as he stared distractedly at the heart monitor, making sure that the drugs he had just given his patient didn't mess with his heart, "It could just be a coincidence... but..."

"Spit it out, Doc," Mal glared at the previously rich man, "you know I don't believe in no coincidence."

Simon looked up from the poor boy and leveled an amused gaze onto the captain, "The sound of your voice caused it."

The string of Chinese curses was followed by Mal's disbelieving question, "What? How? That ain't possible."

Simon sent his Captain a wry look and couldn't keep himself from commenting, "Maybe he's met you," at Mal's less then amused facial reaction, Simon waved his hand in apology, "I'm sorry. Like I said, it could have just been a coincidence."

"We'll stick with coincidence, 'specially since I don't think I've ever had the pleasure of meetin' someone from Earth-that-was."

The second that sentence left his lips both Simon and Mal looked up at each other in surprise. Yes, they both remembered well how the containers had been labeled as 'Earth-that-was Artifacts', but neither ever really considered that this man was from then.

"You... you think he might really be from Earth-that-was?" Simon looked down at the man with a strange look as he scanned him over.

"Don't rightly know," Mal muttered walking up to the other man's side.

"Well it would certainly explain a lot," Simon muttered and calmly walked over to the other side of his medical room and began searching his cabinets for something.

"It would?" Mal watched in confusion as his normally calm doctor searched the room, seeming to be looking for something.

"Yes," Simon stopped a frown growing deeper on his face, "I wonder where it could be?"

"What're ya lookin' for, Doc?"

"It's not important I guess. Just a reference tool," he dismissed easily, but frowned as his eyes turned back to the unnamed man on the table, "but he seems to be missing some of the more basic antigens."

"Doc," Mal crossed his arms and leaned back against one of the tables, "yer gonna have speak simple."

Simon, looked up, a somewhat surprised look crossing his features. He always seemed to forget that no one else here had as much schooling as he had and that things he had thought to be common knowledge, they had absolutely no idea about, "Uh... To put this all very simply: Antigens are basically things in our blood that keep us from getting sick. They attack foreign objects, like bacteria and viruses. Um... once you've been exposed to a virus, your body starts to build up an immunity, it gets new antibodies. Hence, why once you've had a specific strain of the cold, you never get that specific strain again. You may get another version, as the infection does mutate, but you can no longer catch that specific strain. It's not implausible that someone has never been exposed to common things, such as litheria."

"Litheria?" Mal rose an eyebrow, "Ain't that somethin' most children get?"

"It is now," Simon, glanced back up at Mal and sighed. He backed away from his patient and leaned against the table on the opposite side of the room. Simon met Mal's eyes and continued his explanation, "It first appeared on Earth-that-was, I believe. If my memory holds, the theory is that it was an epidemic. Killed millions of people, until obviously, a cure was found," Simon stopped his explanation and shifted his eyes to the unconscious man, "Add about 500 years and natural evolution and most people have the antibodies in their systems now to help naturally eradicate the infectious disease, it's very odd to come across someone who doesn't."

Taking the hint, Mal nodded at the man, "Like him."

"Yes," Simon pushed himself off the shelf and cleared the floor to his patient, "Also, come look at this."

Mal crossed the floor and stared down at the man's face. It wasn't thin, the man was obviously healthily fed in his life. His skin was pale, not too hard to imagine why, and his black hair was a shaggy length. But all together, nothing seemed too odd. The split second where Simon's hand hovered above one of his eyes, Mal noticed it. The lid seemed somewhat flatter compared to the other one. The doctor reached down and pulled up his eyelid...

"Gao yang jong duh goo yang!"

Mal's gaze snapped away. Yes, he had seen far worse things in his time during the war, but it was his eye! There was always something about the eyes that always got to him. They were you _gorram_ eyes! It was unnatural is what it was.

"Did you have to show me that?!" he snapped.

Simon frowned in confusion but let the lid slide closed, "Most people try to get a doctor to put in a regrown eye, and those that don't have enough money for that usually have enough to, in the very least, get themselves a nonworking glass one."

"That don't mean you had to show me that!" Mal snapped once more, ignoring the surprised Doctor's face, "Words would have done nicely."

"Captain...?" Simon trailed off staring at him in concern.

Noticing the Doctor's sudden interest, Mal silently berated himself, "What 'xactly does he not havin' an eye tell us? 'Sides the fact they might notta had regrown eyeballs on Earth-that-was."

"Not much actually," Simon then pulled the sheet down, revealing the man's bare chest, "but that mixed in with his scars here," and sure enough, the stranger was covered in scars, most the scars Mal recognized from seeing all kinds of wounds in the war, but a few were very strange, "I'd say he led a very unusual life," Simon cast a weary look back to Mal, "I wouldn't be surprised if he was public service or military in his time."

Mal took in his words very carefully. He knew what Simon was implying, and he himself had thought of this several times since the man rolled out of his icy coffin, but if he was a government loyal man...

"You thinkin' he gonna be a problem?"

"Honestly?" Simon sighed and shook his head, "Couldn't say," he turned and began packing up the supplies he currently didn't need, "A lot has changed since Earth-that-was. I couldn't even begin to know the differences myself, but to assume he's going to side with a government he knows nothing about isn't very reasonable."

"Hmm."

* * *

"I dunno, I think it's kinda excitin'," Kaylee piped up happily as she sat down at the wobbly table.

"Certainly ain't boring," Zoë chimed in, flashing a smile at her husband as he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms lovingly around her.

"I just mean..." Kaylee smiled dreamily, "I bet he's got stories, ya know. 'Bout Earth-that-was," the far away look crossed over Kaylee's face as she went into her own little fantasy land, "I wonder what it was like. Bet it was filled with really tall mountains, green trees, 'n' sparklin' blue water 'n' the like."

"I bet he's got war stories," everyone turned their sights to Jayne. He sat across from Kaylee, his feet propped up on the table, using a knife to clean out his nails, "C'mon. Ain't nobody lost an eye like that without bein' in a fight."

"He ain't lost an eye!" Kaylee's distress at the statement was evident. She cast a worried, self-doubting look towards Zoë, "Has he?"

Zoë gave her a sad smile, "Sorry t' say it, Kaylee, but I noticed it too. Man got his eye lost," She rubbed Wash's arm before pulling away to sit next to the younger girl. She patted her gently on the shoulder, "Don't worry none. Jus' 'cause he got his eye lost doesn't mean he was in a war," Zoë shot Jayne a scolding look.

"Don't look at me like that," Jayne said indignantly, "Jus' callin' it like I see it. I see missin' body parts, I think war."

"Well when I see lost limbs, I think boating accident," Wash chipped in happily and took a seat across from his wife.

"Well, I'm sure he's got other stories," Kaylee gave them all a hopeful smile, "Maybe 'bout stuff like boatin' in the blue 'stead of the black!"

"Ah, yeah," Zoë smiled brightly at the girl, happy to humor her until the ancient man woke up, "Prob'ly got tons a stories 'bout that. Maybe even be somebody important to be frozen like that."

"Ya think?" Kaylee's eyebrows shot up in interest.

"That or he done somethin' bad," Jayne happily chimed in with his usual atrocious thought.

"You just enjoy spreading the not-joy, don't you?" Wash said with a disbelieving look.

"Jus' think we should be prepared fer whatever one-eye there's gonna throw at us, is all."

* * *

Mal had left the med bay a few minutes ago, leaving Simon in the room alone. Simon was actually grateful he left. It gave him a chance to put his medical bay back the way he liked it without interruption. Granted, it wasn't actually _his_ medical bay, but seeing as how he informed the Captain of what supplies were needed, knew how to actually practice medicine, and kept everything in here clean (his room being the only other clean place on this whole ship), it was an almost unsaid agreement that when it came to the medical room, he was in charge. Unless Mal pulled his rank as Captain, which Simon had no problem listening to surprisingly. After all, he had been right with that Reaver survivor.

Simon had just been putting some things up in a cabinet when he heard a groan behind him. Looking over his shoulder he watched in shock as the patient sat up and stretched his arms tiredly above his head. Simon winced at the succession of popping sounds from the man's back. The man then suppressed a yawn.

"Oh, yeah," the words mumbled out in a strange accent, "that's the stuff..."

Deciding it was best to announce his presence, Simon quietly closed the cabinet, "Hello."

The patient froze, his arms still in mid-air. He then quickly twisted his body around and stared back at Simon with wide eyes. Simon had to keep from wincing when he saw the empty eye socket now open to the world.

The man seemed blissfully unaware of his empty eye and stared at Simon strangely, "Hey..." the man lowered his arms and looked around. Deftly jumping off the bed, he continued his scrutiny. He looked as if he trying to assess something, "Where are we? Some kind of secret underground lab base thingamabob?"

Simon had to take a moment to figure out that last word, before he answered, "No, um... we're on a ship," he was unsure of how the ancient man was going to take it.

"A boat?" the man cast him a disbelieving look. Simon could have sworn he saw a small amount of confusion, "Really?" Simon only nodded before the man launched into his questions, "Where's Will?" Before Simon could question who this 'Will' was, the man continued, "And Buffy?" suddenly when the man noticed Simon's confusion, he seemed to go into somewhat of a panic, "What about Dawn, where's Dawnie?!"

Simon grabbed the ancient man's shoulder's, his own nerves growing taught. The man didn't even seem to notice his unstable posture, "They aren't here," the man didn't even seem to notice that Simon was now keeping him steady on his feet, "I'm afraid you're the only one we found," so far, he added mentally, his thoughts going back to the other containers that had yet to open.

"Found?" he pushed himself away from the doctor and stumbled back slightly, for the first time realizing just how dizzy he was.

"We found you in a container," Simon explained, slowly inching towards him, "You were frozen."

"Frozen..." The man trailed off and blinked, "So who are you? Dr. Fries?"

"Um..." Simon really wasn't too sure how to respond to him. Was that a doctor for one his friends? Will, maybe? "No, my name is Simon. I am a doctor though."

"Hey, Doc," Kaylee poked her head in, "I was wonderin' if maybe.." she trailed off as the strange man turned around, "AH!" Kaylee squeaked and pulled out, covering her face with her hands.

"Kaylee?" Simon watched in concern as Kaylee slowly made her way back in.

She gave the ancient man a timid smile, "Sorry... it's just..." she trailed off and motioned to her eye.

"Oops!" The man comically slapped his hand over the empty eye socket and smiled nervously, "Sorry. I usually keep that sucker covered up. Um...?" he turned his head inquisitively to Simon, "Do you have anything...?"

"Oh!" Simon stopped and glanced around his med room in thought, "I don't think so..." he pointed a thoughtful finger at the man, "I can look though."

"Much appreciated," was his gracious response as the doctor began rummaging through his cabinets.

"So..." both men turned their attention back to the girl who was still standing by the doorway, "are you really from Earth-that-was?"

Simon's eyes went wide, "Kaylee!" he had yet to tell the man exactly where he was.

"Huh?" The man's mouth fell open and he glanced over at Simon before turning his attention back to Kaylee, "Last I knew it was Earth-that-_is_," he paused for a moment, running things over in his head, "Hey, Doc," Simon's eyebrows went up as he looked at his patient inquisitively, "What year is it?"

"2518," Simon tilted his head to the side, "What year do you last remember?"

The man glanced back and forth between Simon and Kaylee, as if he looking for some sort of give, "Ooohh!" a smiled broke across his face as he pointed at Simon in amusement, "I get it. This is some sorta trick, isn't it?" he laughed and shook his head, "Nice try, Will!" he shouted into the air, "Not gonna fool me this time, going all Solaris-y with my brain," Simon and Kaylee exchanged nervous looks, "I'm not as easy to fool as George Clooney."

There were a good five seconds of silence where Simon and Kaylee both just stared at the man as if he had gone mental.

The man awkwardly cleared his throat, "Umm... this isn't a mind game, is it?" he glanced over at Simon who slowly shook his head, "And I, uh, just made a complete fool of myself, didn't I?" he now turned to Kaylee for her response.

"I wouldn't say ya made a fool," she gave him a kind, if not nervous, smile, "I mean, you did just come to from that frozen canister. We expect ya to be a little confounded," she glanced at Simon for verification, "right?"

"Of course," the answer was a little too rushed and Simon winced.

"Uh-huh," the man glanced at them nervously, his hand still covering his damaged eye, "Hey, not that I wanna rush you or anything, but my hand's starting to go all tingly," Simon nodded and started his search again, "if you have some gauze and tape that'll work just dandy."

"So, uh," Kaylee inched a little closer. The man didn't seem too harmful, seemed more worried about making them uncomfortable, "What's your name...?"

"Xander," he gave a small smile at the face Kaylee involuntarily made, "Alexander Harris, actually, but I much prefer Xander."

"Well, I'm Kaylee," she smiled and stuck out a hand, which Xander happily accepted with his free one, "and that there is Simon," she motioned to the doctor standing with gauze and tape behind him.

"Here you go," Simon held the gauze up to his eye, "Kaylee, if you could call the Captain?" he gave a weary smile to Xander as Kaylee made her way to the comm, "I really should have done that the moment you woke up, actually."

"Worthy of being checked out by the Captain? I feel so special," he smiled brightly as Simon finished up, "So, can you guys tell me anything more? What happened to Earth, where we are, or whether or not Woody Allen is still alive?"

"Um..." Simon and Kaylee once again exchanged confused glances, "Well, people began leaving Earth-that-was around 2030, I believe."

"You're kidding," Xander looked at him in surprise, "I could have been alive long enough for people to leave Earth?"

"What year are you from?" Kaylee asked, honestly interested.

"2005," he stated easily, "Damn. I didn't think we were anywhere near that kind of technology."

"Government enjoys keeping secrets from us little folk," a voice chimed in from behind.

"Yeah, boy, have I got stor..." Xander trailed off as he finally turned around. 'Oh, hell no!' didn't even begin to cover it! Everyone in the room noticed the sudden tension. Simon wasn't the only one concerned with how pale the man's face turned. There was a good two seconds where everything was still and the crew of Serenity waited for him to finish his sentence.

In a burst of unexpected motion, Xander bolted out the lab, slipped past the Captain, and ran.

When he made it to the cargo bay, three other people stood there now staring at him; a tall attractive black woman, a big scary muscley guy, and a reddish blond haired man in a very nice Hawaiian shirt. Two of them suddenly whipped out guns, their eyes trained keenly on him. Glancing over his shoulder, Xander noticed the other three had followed him, the Caleb look-a-like pointing his own little pistol at him.

"Sir?" The woman's voice rang loudly in the open space.

"Cap'n," Kaylee looked at him pleadingly, glancing nervously between Xander and the Captain's gun, "he's just scared. Ain't no reason to shoot 'im."

"He actin' all twitchy and the like earlier, Doc?" Mal questioned, his eyebrow raised, "'cause if he gone crazy on us, I ain't havin' 'im endangerin' my crew."

"He doesn't preach."

Everyone turned their attention upwards to the young girl leaning over the catwalk. She shook her head, staring seriously at the stranger, "Not anymore. Doesn't like to. Feels wrong."

"OK..." Xander frowned and slowly raised his hands in he air, as if to show he was unarmed, which was already a given. He turned his attention back to the Caleb-look-alike, "look, I don't know what Twilight Zone I dropped in on, but you," he pointed an accusing finger at Mal, "look way too much like the asshole who did this," he pointed at his obvious injury for effect, "Now, obviously, you're not him, or about half of these people here would be dead. So, why don't we lower the shiny guns and have a nice calm weapon free conversation."

A moment of silence as Mal considered the request. Then, with a consenting nod to the other two, Mal lowered and holstered his gun, "Alright. Let's have us a conversation."

* * *

A few minutes later and everyone was gathered around the eating room table, The Captain sitting on one end with Xander on the other side. Everyone else sat wherever they pleased around the table with the exception of the strange girl from the catwalk. She chose to sit in one of the chairs in the corner, curled up with her arms around her legs and her chin resting on her knees as she stared at Xander in fascination.

With a few nervous glances, Xander finally cleared his throat, "OK, so will somebody fill me in on the what's what here?"

"I was hopin' you could do the fillin', son," The Captain leaned against the table and hit Xander with a hard glare. The message got through to the Californian. It was the standard 'If you don't explain, I'll hurt you severely' look that Buffy used to give out oh so often.

"And what exactly do you want me to say?" Xander asked in confusion, "You want me to tell you how I was frozen? 'Cause that's gonna be hard, what with that memory missing and all."

"Alright," The Captain consented, "Wanna tell me more about what that crazy was down below? I can't very well have someone runnin' around my boat if he's a danger to my crew."

"It's not like I attacked anybody," Xander defended, "I saw how eerily you resembled somebody I was not such good friends with and I ran. It was a survival instinct," Xander had faced many things in his time and had even stood fast against his flight response a myriad of times. However, working with Buffy had taught him to follow his instincts during certain situations. He was no match for Caleb, he knew, his only hope to enforce Rule One was to run and hide – something he was very good at he might add, "I didn't endanger anybody. What was I gonna do? Hit a bullet with my head?"

The Captain's eyebrows shot up at the response and Xander noticed the fight to keep the corner of his lips down. The Captain beat that little battle quite fast, but Xander could quickly see the amusement in his eyes. Well, maybe not in his eyes... those things were hard as stone, but he could tell The Captain was amused by him. In his life, that generally led to being alive a little longer than originally intended. Always a good thing.

"See Cap'n!" Kaylee said, a pleased look on her face, "He ain't gonna hurt nobody!" at Mal's sharp glare, Kaylee frowned and lowered her head a little. She hated it when the Captain looked at her like that, "M'just sayin'..."

"Actually, Mal, if I may?" Simon spoke up, catching everyone's attention. The strength of Mal's stare was no less intense, but he nodded, "Downstairs in the infirmary, Mr. Harris seemed to show more concern about making us feel comfortable than he did about who we were," Simon cast a curious glance at Xander who blinked in surprise at the sudden defense.

"Alright, fine," Mal leaned back against his seat, his arms crossed defensively over his chest. He sent Xander a hard warning glare. It was eerily similar to when Buffy had met Dawn's boyfriend Kenny for the first time. Xander remembered that scary threat clearly, "I just want to make one thing clear: You're only welcome on this boat as long as I see fit. Now, if I go thinkin' yer gonna make unwanted trouble for me and mine, you're off. We got enough problems of our own to deal with, we don't need nothin' else to come kickin', you understand?"

"Yeah," Xander said with a nod, "I got one thing I wanna make clear too," Xander gave them all an equally hard glare, letting his rare serious side to the forefront. Xander didn't miss the unappreciated frown on The Captain's lips or his decency to at least hear what the stranger was going to say before he responded. Xander pointed to Wash., "I _really_ want one of those shirts."

* * *

Gao yang jong duh goo yang! - Motherless goats of all motherless goats!

Gorram - Damn


	3. The Yummy That Is Not Protein Bars

AN: Okay, this is an extremely short chapter. Sorry, but it took me forever to write. I'm feeling okay with the chapter. I really didn't want to end it the way I did, but I wanted to get something out for you guys so you know that, yes, I am still alive and working on my fics. :)

Sorry for the long gap between chapters!

* * *

"So... you think there might be someone else in this thing?" Xander rapped his knuckles against the other temperature controlled container. He was finally dressed in some decent clothes. Too tall to fit into one of Wash's pairs of pants and too big for a pair of Jayne's, Xander was wearing a pair of Simon's black slacks. He had the option of wearing one of Mal's, but that creeped Xander out just a little too much, and not because of the whole Caleb look-a-like factor. Could the man's pants _be_ any tighter?

_Ahem. _Not that he noticed those kind of things.

He did however manage to borrow a white tank top and a wonderful Hawaiian shirt from Wash. He must admit, he was quite impressed with the man's collection. Very nice.

"That's the notion," Mal confirmed with a curt nod, cutting through Xander's train of thought.

"What about that one?" his calloused finger pointed to the third container.

"That one isn't temperature controlled," Simon supplied, his hands clasped behind his back, "it's pressurized. I imagine it's filled with actual artifacts; books, clothing, possibly even your personal effects."

"Huh," Xander frowned and turned his attention back to the second container, "any idea who's in it?"

Xander couldn't help but hold onto the hope that it was someone he knew. Maybe Buffy. Buffy always knew how to handle these kind of situations. She would save the day as usual. Oooh! Or Willow. Yes, Willow would have to be his main choice. She could cast some type of wicc-y spell and send the two of them back to their real time. He wouldn't have to think too much about how everyone he knew was gone, 'cause Willow would make it all right. Right...?

"You mean ya dunno?" Jayne asked, looking up from his weight bench. He was curling a blank, but heavy looking, dumbbell.

Xander glanced at Jayne and shook his head, "Nope. I mean, I have my hopes and theories, but ultimately..." Xander shook his head again, "your guess is as good as mine."

There was a moment of silence as everyone took this in. Statistically, the chances of him actually knowing the person in the second container were incredibly low. This thought was the first moment Xander realized he may very well be alone. His heart pumped faster. He couldn't remember a time where he had been truly alone. He had always had Willow at the very least, if not her then Buffy. And the one time he didn't have the two of them (when Spike was playing the Yoko factor), he had Anya.

Irked by the suddenly seriously negative thoughts in his own head, Xander snapped back to attention, "So!" he hopped on top of the container and smacked it with his palm, "Who's up for guessin' who's behind door number 2?" when no one answered, Xander sighed, "Alright, how about, male, female? Guy, gal? Teacher, Big Bird? C'mon."

"Who cares. It's just gonna be 'nother mouth t'feed," Jayne grumbled to himself, sending Xander a glare.

Xander's eyebrows shot up, but he chose to be wise and ignore that comment.

It was Kaylee who took the bait, "I hope it's a girl!" she chimed in happily, sending Xander a peppy smile that he couldn't help but return, "It'd be kinda nice t'have another girl on board," she sent a questioning look to Mal, "Ya know? Things just seem kinda drab here since Inara left."

Xander didn't miss the mild glare Mal sent Kaylee's way. That's when it clicked.

Oooh!

_Inara_...

Someone had some feelings.

"Oh, I don't know," Wash joined in. He walked over to the container and gave it a good kick, "I'm gonna take a leap in the black and say it's a puppy," he turned to share a look with his wife, "a beagle," he clarified, "Hey!" Wash turned and gave Xander an overly happy and curious look, "They had beagles where you're from right? All cute with the snuggles and little droppings?"

Zoë and Mal smiled at that.

"Oh yeah," Xander grinned, though he was somewhat perturbed by the mention of dog droppings. These people had a weird sense of humor. Then again... his humor usually revolved around the apocalyptic side,"There was even a dance made after one of them. They were quite revered in my time," thought of the Snoopy dance made him grin, but it was followed by a wash of home sickness for Willow.

"See, honey," Wash turned to his wife, proudly, "What'd I tell ya?"

Zoë gave her husband an amused look, "When you're right, you're right," she glanced at Xander, a somewhat unexpected cold vibe, that gave Xander a start.

What'd he do now?

"So..." Xander hopped off the container and knelt down beside it, "no buttons? No open sesame switch?" he stood up and turned to Mal, "How'd you guys get me out of my little cage here?"

"We didn't," Mal eyed the second container wearily, as if expecting it to pop open any second.

"You kinda just-uhm..." Simon trailed off with a frown and just waved his hand in one sweeping motion, "rolled out."

"Huh," Xander grunted and looked around, "Well, that sucks," Xander kicked the base of it with his heel, before turning his attention back to the others, "So? What's there to do on this boat?"

The conversation around River was muddled. She stayed at her place on the floor, her colored pencil sketching in her little notebook. She ignored them as the majority slowly made their way to a different part of the boat. Her red pencil moved back and forth across the paper. She paid no mind as her brother approached her from behind and peered over her shoulder.

The picture was of a wolf. It's muzzle drabbed and dripping in blood.

* * *

"You alright, sweetie?" Wash looked at his wife imploringly as he plopped back in his chair. He swiveled around to look at his control panel and the stars before waiting for his wife's response.

"I'm fine," she replied curtly. At his disbelieving glance back, Zoë sighed and rolled her eyes, "Just don't know if we should be trustin' him is all."

"And why's that?" Mal stepped into the bridge.

Zoë and Wash both turned to Mal. Zoë crossed her arms and leaned against the consul her husband was working at, "Don't know him," she stared at Mal a moment. His silence was obviously imploring her to continue, "Think about it, sir. We come across a supposed abandoned Alliance Cruiser. The only thing we find worth takin' is three containers, two of which are filled with people. The third one could hold weapons for all we know," Zoë glanced at Wash, then back to Mal, "Cap'n', this could be a trap."

"Huh," Mal grunted, his eyes spaced out as he thought over Zoë's words. He snapped his eyes back to his second in command, "He botherin' yer gut, Zoë?"

"I just think we should keep an eye on him," Zoë responded stoically, "and whoever else wakes up from those canisters."

"Agreed," Mal nodded. He then turned an appreciative look to Wash, "I think you should watch him."

Wash froze, "Me?" he squeaked.

Zoë frowned, not liking this one bit, "Sir?"

* * *

"So..." Xander carefully took a step into the engine room, taking in the red brown rust colored walls, "this is the engine room, huh?" The constant humming of the engine was extremely loud compared to the rest of the silent ship.

"Yup!" Kaylee grinned proudly and patted the large contraption in the middle of the room. Was that seriously the engine? "This is Serenity's heart. Ain't she a beaut?"

"Beautimous," Xander replied, somewhat distracted as he glanced around the room. He liked to think he had a basic idea of engines and combustions and whatnot, but this... well, this made him realize just how basic his grasp really was. He let out a low whistle, "Wow... this is some hot stuff..."

"Oh, no, not really," Kaylee smiled as she leaned against the engine, years of working in this room helping her to instinctively know where it was safe, "Most o'the parts are cool enough t'hold in yer hand. Only a couple of 'em will burn ya," Xander looked up at her, somewhat taken aback, "but as long as ya don't go diggin' around, you should be just fine."

"That's not what I..." Xander trailed off as her face tilted to an oh-so-adorable angle. Instead he grinned and rocked back on his heels, "so... what's that do?" he pointed at some random contraption, desperate to change the subject..

"Oh!" Kaylee squealed, as if extremely excited. The next thing Xander knew, the young girl was talking a mile a minute. It was as if he was listening to Dawn go over some information she had just translated, or come across a misinformed historic interpretation. Luckily, Xander had listened to her little rants enough to learn how to look interested in them while he didn't listen. He just smiled and nodded enthusiastically whenever Kaylee cast him an inquisitive glance.

"Hey..." Kayle stopped her ramblings and looked up with wide eyes. Xander placed a hand on his stomach, "You guys wouldn't have anything to eat by chance, would ya? I'm starving," his stomach let out a convenient rumble.

"Oh! I didn't even think o'that! We prob'ly shoulda offered ya somethin' right quick," Kaylee bustled past him, motioning for him to follow her. Xander almost ran into her when she suddenly stopped, "500 years without food..." she glanced back at him, "that's a long time t'go. Hard to imagine."

Xander blinked in astonishment. He hadn't thought of it like that.

"Now I _know_ I didn't volunteer for this whole freezing thing."

Just down the passage and in the Dining Area, Simon and Jayne both sat at the table. Neither were talking to each other. Jayne leaned back in his chair, twirling his pocket knife between his fingers and munching on a bright red apple. Simon, on the other hand, sat at the opposite end and distractedly sloshed his spoon through a brown-red bowl full of some type of soup. Neither spoke a word to each other, but looked up simultaneously when Kaylee and Xander entered.

"So, got any good grub to eat?" Xander grinned and rocked back on his heels.

Jayne just scoffed and bit into his apple. With a full mouth he responded, "Nuthin' good for those who ain't earned their keep."

"Jayne!" Kaylee snapped. She gave Xander a nervous smile, glancing back a glare at Jayne every now and then, "Oh, don't listen to him, he's just a big... meany," Kaylee made her way behind the island, and dug through their wares, "I hope you don't mind protein bars," she popped back up, a wrapped bar in hand.

Xander frowned, remembering the one time Dawn had coerced him into trying one. It wasn't so much on the side of good food, "Oh, only if they've changed over the last 500 years," he took the handed bar, tore open the wrapper and took a bite. He actually had to force it down, "Well... they have changed..." he cleared his throat, "not in the good way," at Kaylee's concerned look, Xander grinned and took another bite, forcing it down his throat as quickly as possible, "It's great," he lied, "Thanks!"

Kaylee grinned proudly while Xander sat in the seat next to Simon. He glanced at the good doctor's soup and back to his own protein bar. Comparatively, maybe the protein bars weren't that bad.

The chair next to Jayne scratched across the floor as Kaylee took a seat, "So, Xander," she piped up, resting her elbows on the table. Xander frowned as the table wobbled at the weight, "tell us 'bout livin' on Earth-That-Was. What was it like?"

The eagerness in her voice made Xander wish he had something he could tell her. Looking back on his life, especially the last few years, it was filled with monsters and vampires. Hell, the last few years, that's all the Scoobies were about. No more trying to live normal lives. They had given it up completely.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he smiled back at Kaylee, "Well, what do you wanna know? It's kinda hard to explain life there, when that's all you know."

"Oh, well um..." Kaylee trailed off, trying to think of a more specific question.

"School," Simon chimed in, earning him a grateful smile from Kaylee. Jayne just snorted, "From what I understand, it was mandatory on Earth-That-Was."

"Oh, yeah," Xander nodded, "If you're from the USA. Most countries it isn't. But in America, it's mandatory until you're 16 or 18, depending on the state."

"What's school like?" Kaylee leaned forward, interested in hearing the differences between Xander's and Simon's schooling.

"Well..." Xander's mind went back to monsters, vampires, hellmouths, and the bumpy nightly terrors. Particularly his graduation, "My school was kinda..." he trailed off. He really didn't know enough about this time period to even think of introducing nightly bumps to them, "normal. Um... curriculum, PE, French class, nothing too inconceivable," at Kaylee's frown, Xander gave her a sympathetic smile, "Sorry, I know you're looking for this great story, but I really was just an Average Joe. I mean, it's hard to point out the differences to you, when I don't really know what they are. Aside from the fact that we didn't have flying spaceships," Xander froze and rolled his eyes at those words, "Thank God, Andrew's not here. I bet you he would not stop talking about this."

"About what?" Simon asked at the same time Kaylee asked, "Who's Andrew?"

Xander grinned, "Andrew was this sci-fi geek extraordinaire. Just the mere mention of spaceships would have him off on a tangent about how cool this place was... or he would be comparing it to the Enterprise, with him you'd never know."

With Andrew as a stepping stone, Xander found himself talking about his friends and family. Their goofy sides and even their emotional sides. Surprisingly, Jayne's ears perked up as Xander talked about Giles. Kaylee wanted to hear more about Anya, while Simon was more interested in hearing about Willow and Dawn – mainly their studies.

By the time Mal, Zoë, and Wash walked out into the Dining Hall, Xander was telling them one particular story.

"So, Giles is looking everywhere, and I mean _everywhere_. He even dug through my underwear drawer, looking for his glasses," Xander shuddered at the thought of digging through another man's underwear drawer, "Even I think twice about digging in that drawer."

Kaylee shared a grin with Simon and leaned forward, "So, where were they?"

"Huh?" Xander stopped and blinked. After a moments thought he frowned, "You know, after he found them, he wouldn't say. He seemed very disturbed. I have a hunch that he found them in one of Andrew's drawers. That's the only thing I could think of that would disturb him that much," Xander grinned and nodded, "I do know it was Dawn and Faith who hid them though. They wouldn't tell me either. Ya know, those two were a really bad influence on each other."

"Hate t'interrupt story time," Mal cut in, "but we got a job."


	4. Of Warrior Tables and Parrots

This chapter feels _very_ forced to me. Let me know what you think. I may try and rewrite a little bit of it later, but nothing too much. Also, I think I need some inspiration for Wash's character. I love the guy to death, but it just feels like everything I have him say is not a Wash way of saying things. Yet, Xander's words seem to come easily to me. Weird, since they're both so much a like. Maybe that's my problem.

Anyway, anything you guys can suggest to help me out with Wash would be greatly appreciated!

*~*~*~*

He was a force of good. Maybe not the strongest force, but Xander was at least a nice little zing on the good radar. He had fought beside those that were a mighty solar flare in this field of goodness. He had even given lectures on being good. He never gave lectures or speeches before. This was how dedicated and consumed his life had become to the righteously goodness energy.

So why was he doing this again?

Xander gave the man a huge fake grin as he walked around the shop, eager to keep the man distracted on him.

"Hey! This looks sturdy!"

Xander and the shopkeeper both turned to Wash. The pilot grinned and rapped his knuckles on the table's surface. He then grabbed a hold of the sides and tried to shake it, "See? No shaking! Good sturdy table! Just what we need!"

"Ahh!" the store owner grinned and patted Xander on the back. Xander fought down a grimace, "That's a one of a kind!"

Yeah, Xander thought, judging by the craftsmanship, it was the only one the three blind mice tried to build together.

"Yeah, sure," he walked over to Wash and patted one of the legs, a big grin on his face, "If by sturdy, you mean exhausted and flimsy, you're right on the money," he gave Wash a thumbs up.

"What d'ya talk?!" Wash protested, "It's just seasoned. Look at it!" he ran his hands over the less then smooth surface, "You can tell it's been through its share of battles. It can still go through many more," he paused for a split second before breaking out into a huge grin, "It's a _warrior_ table!"

Xander bit back a grin. He really had to hand it to the cheerful man, he could probably sell just about anything if he wanted to. Either way Xander looked at it though, it resembled the coffee table at Buffy's house in Sunnydale after one of the many demons tore through the house. This table could not take much more. Of course, for him, much more included body slams, axes, and big horned demon guys. It probably would do just fine on _Serenity_.

He still couldn't bring himself to let the crew buy this one though. It was just bad craftsmanship.

"Ya know," Xander looked around the furniture store, trying to find a much more suitable table, "We should be more manly in our perusal of tables," he gave Wash one of his Xander grins, "we should steer clear of commitment and hunt on!" Xander pointed towards a table just a few aisles down as he headed over to it, "Look at that one; it's smooth, it's sturdy," he smacked the side of the table, "plus, the craftsmanship, I mean, a table like this'll last you for quite some time."

"Yer friend here has a good eye!" the shopkeeper cheered happily.

Xander and Wash just gave the man incredulous stares.

"M-My apologies, I meant no disrespect," the owner was quick to apologize and held both his hands up in surrender, "I just meant that, this table is one of the finest ones I have!" he grinned again, "It's a bonafide piece from Earth-That-Was!" Xander rose an eyebrow, "see the design and the smoothness of the legs? Only the technology that was lost on Earth-That-Was could do something so beautiful and flawless!"

Inwardly, Xander groaned. What did this man think of Earth? That they were incredibly technologically advanced? 'Cause from what he had seen so far, it was kinda the opposite. At least it was nice to know that some things never changed. Like a furniture store owner trying to get Xander to buy something for more than it was worth. Hell, he could just build something three times better for only a fourth of the cost! Whatever he made would be way cheaper than even the _warrior_ table!

"Eh, don't worry about it," Xander waved a dismissive hand at him, "it's true. I got a good eye and a dead one. Luckily, my good one can still spot good craftsmanship from a mile away."

"It's definitely nice," Wash conceded as he walked up next to Xander, "but there's no way the Cap'n'll let us get that. Too expensive," his tone suddenly lightened increasingly, "I think we should get the _warrior_ table. It's got character. Plus, ya know, the whole run down thing just makes it seem kinda depressed. How can we abandon it?"

Xander glanced at Wash in thought. He kind of reminded him of someone...

"_Charlie Brown!_"

"Who?"

Xander laughed, "Wow, I hadn't thought about him in _ages_!" he shook his head and sighed as he glanced back at the _warrior_ table. As the thought and laughter slowly dissipated from his head, he went ahead and said what he had been meaning to say since they walked into this store, "Ya know, I could build a pirate-y one for the third of the price."

Wash stared at him a moment before glancing back at the table, then back to him. He turned to the shopkeeper, who had a less than pleased look on his face.

Wash then looked at the clock and grinned. Perfect!

"A pirate-y table?"

"A pirate-y table."

Wash turned to the worn down table and frowned down at it, "I won't forget you, _warrior_ table! I'll always cherish our memories of good sturdy times."

The Hawaiian shirt clad men swept past the shopkeeper without a glance. He was glaring at them with narrowed eyes.

"Hey!" Wash exclaimed happily as they walked outside, "Ya know, you almost_ look_ like a pirate! You ever own a parrot named Polly?"

Xander smothered down a smile "Nope. Though I did date a Polly once."

"Ooh! Nice! What happened?"

"Didn't end well," Xander grimaced, "Let's just say there was some fire, sharp objects thrown, maybe an ax or two, and a voodoo doll."

"A voodoo doll?" Wash blinked in surprise, "Spooky. Does that work?"

Xander pursed his lips together in a frown, "Couldn't tell ya," he lied, "All I know is that for a week, all I wanted to eat were crackers."

Wash laughed.

Xander buried his hands in his pockets.

This place really was like an old western. It was strange, he half expected something like Star Trek. A great Federation, aliens, and even a higher education where physics was just common knowledge even among the simplest people. Instead, he found himself on a planet that reminded him of the backwards hick towns back home. He learned that he had a higher education than most, a surprise since he was the one who never went to college out of his friends. He also learned that, strangely enough, history did in fact seem to be repeating itself. It was really like a western now. He just couldn't get over that.

Xander blinked in surprise as Wash hurried them past what was obviously the local police.

Were these people fugitives?

Either way, Xander wasn't sure how he felt about his current predicament. Of everywhere for him to wake up, it really wasn't the worst place. Far from it actually, at least these people were hospitable. Most of them, anyway. All right, fine, just Kaylee, Simon, and Wash really. The others acted kinda weird and suspicious towards him. Not that he could blame them honestly.

In a situation like this, Xander just figured it would have been the government or someone higher up that would have woken him up. Sure, at first he hadn't really thought about it, but after they told him he was found on an Alliance ship (which he was assuming meant the government ship), he began to wonder...

Why was he frozen? And why would the government be interested?

OK, he knew _why_ they'd be interested, especially in Buffy, Willow, or Dawn and Giles even. But him? He was just the normal blue collar Joe who just so happened to have one eye. Did someone really think him so valuable?

It was more than possible that Willow had put him into the container for some reason and had planned to open it when he was healed or whatever, but something got in the way. Then again, Giles and Buffy would have protested vehemently towards something like this. They knew damn well the worst situation would always be what happened.

So, why?

_Bang_!

Xander jumped, "What that a gun?!" He watched in wonder as the local police went charging into the furniture story they just came out of.

"Wuo duh Ma!*" Wash cursed. He smacked Xander's shoulder and motioned with his head, "C'mon! We gotta go!"

As Wash sprinted back towards the ship, Xander hesitated. Realizing he no longer had any choice in these matters, Xander rolled his eye to the high-heavens and inwardly cursed. Why couldn't he just run away anymore? Why couldn't he just be like Wash again?!

He ran back into the furniture store.

He stopped dead in his tracks.

The shopkeeper had his gun out. He was pointing it down, towards Mal, who laid on the floor with a bloody shoulder and his hands in the air by his ears. Zoe, on the other hand, stood tall and had the two police pointing their own guns at her with what appeared to be a heavy bag lying at her feet. Her hand dangerously close to her gun.

Shpedoinkle.

"Hey, where's the party at?"

The entire room turned to Xander. Inwardly, he winced. Why couldn't he ever just keep his big mouth shut?

"What's goin' on?" he asked casually.

The shopkeeper, his hands incredibly too steady for Xander to think it was his first time holding the gun, let alone at a person, glared down at Mal, "This... this shiong-mung duh kwong-run** just tried to rob me blind!"

"Oh, c'mon now!" Mal defended, staying completely still, "I ain't tryin' t'rob ya blind. Ain't got nuthin' t'do with you. Does it now, Zoe?" he glanced over his shoulder at his first mate.

"Ain't about him, sir," she agreed, ever stoic.

"Then what's in that bag there?" one of the police men half shouted, obviously a bundle of nerves.

Mal glanced at Zoe and nodded.

Xander had seen that look before. It was a look Buffy had given him and Willow on several occasions. Either there was something useful in that bag or...

Zoe knelt down beside the bag and opened it up, revealing a wooden box. She stood back up, her hands in the air, and backed up a few steps.

The two soldiers headed towards it.

Only one knelt down, while the other kept his eyes on Zoe.

The other man reached down to open the lid.

"Now!"

Mal and Zoe both whipped out their guns with lightning speed and shot their captors.

Xander, not at all use to dealing with attacking people, acted immediately. He may have been too late in terms of the shopkeeper and police number one, but the second the shots rang out, he jumped police number two.

The two men went sprawling to the floor. Xander could practically feel Mal's and Zoe's eyes on him as he struggled with the man. Xander managed to pull himself onto his feet and yanked police number two back up with him. He then gave him a good shove, and the man toppled over the _warrior_ table.

Which then proceeded to collapse.

Police number two only groaned, but stayed down.

"Huh," Mal grunted. Wordlessly, he motioned for the two to follow him. Zoe grabbed the bag and they all ran out the back door.

And they ran.

And they ran.

Xander really wasn't liking all this running.

When the small ship pod thing began to descend in front of them, Xander didn't think he'd ever been so happy to see a flying ship.

When it landed, the back opened wide, and the three of them ran inside.

Wash grinned from his pilot seat, "Great. Thought we mighta lost ya back there."

*~*~*~*~*

Simon frowned from his perch in the cargo bay. He was watching as his little sister sat cross legged on one of the many containers, the only pressurized one he believed. She had a notepad in her lap and continued to draw one of the four pictures she had become obsessed with.

He really didn't understand why she continued to draw the moon those animals, each one covered in blood. It was very disturbing.

"Hey."

Simon looked over his shoulder and smiled warmly as Kaylee approached him.

She motioned over her shoulder, "Noticed you weren't in the medbay," her smiled quickly disappeared when she noticed his furrowed brow, "Everything OK?"

"Yeah... I guess," he sighed and turned his eyes back to his sister, "After that whole thing with Early..." Simon shook his head, "She was doing so much better," Kaylee glanced over at River with a frown, "but since we came across that Alliance cruiser...," Simon trailed off and shook his head.

"She's gettin' worse again, huh?" Kaylee placed a hand on his shoulder in sympathy.

"Well, she's not getting better anymore."

_Sssssssss....SSSssssssssSsssszzzZzzzz...._

All three stiffened and watched as the second container let out a clouds of smoke and the side panel slowly lifted into the air.

A woman rolled out.

Simon quickly moved towards her and put his fingers to her throat. He waited a moment as he took her pulse, "She's has a steady pulse," he reached down and lifted her up, "Kaylee, go get Jayne," he glanced over at River who was staring at the woman with wide eyes, "River, I'm going to need your help, OK?"

His sister just nodded mutely and followed her brother quickly into the medical bay.

*~*~*~*~*

"OK, so let me get this straight," Xander frowned as Wash brought the shuttle back onto _Serenity_, "You guys are a bunch of thieves, taking whatever job you can get, because you lost a war and don't agree with the current government?"

"That's the story," Mal confirmed with a nod.

"Oh..." Xander seemed to think a moment, "but you don't do things like steal from somebody whose life depends on that thing... do ya?"

Mal and Zoe both glanced at each other, as if remembering a certain moment, "Not intentionally."

"Ah," Xander frowned.

"You gotta problem with the way we do things 'round here, yer more than welcome to find a new ship t'stay on," said Mal, "I ain't gonna be babysittin' someone who's gotta problem with me and mine. That clear?"

"Huh? Oh! No! No judgments here!" Xander rose his hands up in surrender and shook his head, "I don't have a particular fondness of the government myself, so I say have at it with the robbing from the rich and selling to the poor."

"Alright then," Mal stood up, "Just so where on the same page-"

_Cap'n! _Kaylee's voice came up over the intercom.

Mal quickly moved over to the co-pilot's chair, "What?"

_The second container just opened!_

Mal cursed, "Feifei de piyan!***"

Xander was quickly out of his seat and out of the shuttle. Zoe and Mal ran after him. They all flew down the stairs, through the cargo bay, and into the medical room.

Xander froze when he saw who it was.

Everyone looked over at Xander.

Wash soon joined them. He glanced back and forth between them, "So... you know her?"

"Oh, God..." Xander muttered.

Of all the people for him to be stuck 500 years in the future with!

"_Cordelia?!_"

*~*~*~*~*

*Wuo duh Ma! - Mother-of-Jesus!

**shiong-mung duh kwong-run – violent lunatic

***Feifei de piyan – a baboon's ass-crack.


End file.
